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THE BIRTH

by John Thomas

a silly visual skit in bad taste

 

Any suburban house;

1. Open in the kitchen of a very pregnant woman who is talking to her cat on the window sill. Her conversation outlines impending delivery and goals of this mother for her ambitious child.

2. Suddenly the woman drops can of cat food in pain and suprise. The cat's screech becomes a siren.

3. Cut to Ambulance speeding off to hospital

 

The Hospital;

4. Woman is brought into delivery room.

5. CU of her stomach convulsing unusually under gown

6. CU woman's not so impressed face

7. Doctor preparing

 

The Birth;

8. A rugby style scrum begins between the womans legs and the doctors and nurses. Much grunting sceaming and gasping ensues.

9. A fully suited business man slowly appears from the scrum covered in after-birth

10. Man/child turns to stunned theatre staff and flips out his personal organiser...

"Is it that time already? I've got to finish this submission before my Christening and have the whole project up and running before my 1st birthday."

11. ECU womans face is total disbelief/relief

12. Man/child kisses woman on the forehead and turns to exit...

"Bye Mum - oh nearly forgot"

13. Man/child reaches back between woman's legs and ater rumaging around for a second pulls out a bulging brief-case.

14. ECU of woman passing out as we pan up to Man/child exitiing after initially being held back by his umbilical cord to which he gives a solid tug and leaves.

 

* * *

 

©1995

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